"by the way, you have spinach in your teeth...."

So, I try to carry myself with a bit of dignity, befitting a representative of Jesus Christ.  I try to dress modestly and tame my admittedly crazy hair.  I depend on my fastidious husband to keep me advised of things I can't see.
Today, after mingling with these wonderful saints for several  hours, greeting all with my shiniest grin, and engaging in animated conversations, why would he wait until we were leaving to point out what must have been the focal point for anyone looking at me.  The bright green band across the front of my smile!

(isn't it amazing what you can google?  I'm  not the only one who did this.  Her teeth look a bit better than mine.)

I thought I was done with pride but as I pulled myself together, I realized how many ways I am compelled to be humble.  As we view old family photos, we are amazed that we did some of the things we did in our much younger days.
 Elder Pierson asked if I would go back to those physically stronger, dewy-skinned  days.  I'm grateful for lots of fun memories but I have to admit that what I have gained emotionally and spiritually, I would not replace with a younger body. I would not take back the insecurities and "trying to find myself" days.

(Who are these people?)

 Turning 50 was revelatory. Competition and judgement of myself and others began to fade away.  Advancing years bring more and more acceptance and peace.  A mindset I couldn't find when I was  young.  I didn't know myself well enough.  It takes decades but it is worth the wait.

 Daily miracles resonate in my soul.  In the past, my too-busy brain would have acknowledged much less the depth and breadth of the love I feel from my Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ.  I acknowledge my dependence in all things.  I have so much more faith in the Lord's timing.

Getting older is really very fun!

One recent miracle.  At one point in our temple worship, we are required to participate without seeing the person asking certain questions.  I am always a bit nervous when I reach this point because of my terrible hearing.  In the Keiv temple, I realized that the voice to which I needed to respond spoke in a quiet whisper.  I prayed hard that I would be able to hear the instructions.  The voice was immediately amplified and I heard perfectly.  A sweet peace washed over me.  How blessed I felt.

I have experienced tons of potentially  embarrassing situations since we began our missionary service. We have had our share of lurching metro cars sending us flying on the laps of stone faced Moscovites.  In one case, our sweet friend Olga, an amply built sister, grabbed me for a hug at just the wrong time and we both piled on top of Elder P, who landed on three seated people.  It took some time to pull us all apart.  Without exception, when it is obvious that we didn't intend to do something so silly, gracious good nature takes over and everyone is smiling and laughing.

Our feeble attempts to speak Russian make us feel stupid but these good people applaud and act like they can understand.

My favorite play, "Our Town" by Thornton Wilder, captures the joy of life so beautifully.  In a poignant scene, Emily, a young mother, dies in childbirth.  She is given the opportunity to return to her life for one day.  She chooses her 12th birthday but, seeing those she loves and the vitality of life, she realizes it is too hard and asks to return to post-mortal life.  She asks,"Does anyone live every moment of every day?"  The answer is no, no one does but we can!

We can embracing each moment, just as it is, bringing a fullness of love and joy.  When we let go of pride, and feel grateful that the spinach in the teeth provided some laughter and connection with others, we see the goodness of the NOW!  We concentrate on others, not ourselves.  We care less what others think of us and more of how we can bless their lives.  The ego diminishes and life is wonderful!

This week we toured Catherine the Great's dream home.   Her insistence on perfection required a couple of tear-downs.  Finally, more than a decade after beginning the structure, it was finally complete but, unfortunately, Catherine was dead.  All of that anticipating for her life in the Palace and she never even moved in.  Beautiful place to visit and a good lesson for us.

If you believe in God...

I have long loved this quote by Ugo Betti,

"If you believe in God, you know that all the rules will be  fair and there will be wonderful surprises."

This has been a really tough week, worldwide.  We are only spectators, like the rest of the world but it's almost impossible to stay sunny when there has been so much sorrow and suffering.

In Moscow, we take our metro so for granted, it never entered any of our minds that it was vulnerable to malfunction.  During the morning rush on Monday,  three cars derailed on our very own blue line, the one we take several times a week.  The cars folded on top of each other. Twenty three people were killed and over a hundred were seriously injured.  We weren't involved but our office assistant, Olga, was on the next train.  Her train stopped suddenly, the lights went out for 20 min.and they had no idea what had happened.  They heard chaotic sounds and voices.  It was hot and so dark.  They were finally escorted through the tunnel.  Olga was pretty shaken when she called us but she made it into the office.  It was much later that any of us found out what had happened.

As we returned from our Sr. Council meeting on Thursday, we heard the news of the shooting down of the Malaysian flight over Easter Ukraine.  Almost 300 people lost their lives.
Having just returned from Ukraine, our hearts are tender.  We love all of these people, on both sides of the political issue.  I can't imagine the terrible pain of the families of those innocent people on the flight.

I don't know how anyone can look at the Middle East and not weep for the suffering so many are enduring and have endured for decades.  I don't like political arguments but innocents are dying because of political stalemates.  So many opportunities for peace have been lost because of extremists.  My heart breaks for families who are just trying to build some kind of stability and live in peace.  Many hundreds have been killed.

Combined with challenging situations faced by people we love here in  Russia and elsewhere, I have not felt a lot of peace.

Elder Pierson, bless his heart, is my rock in so many ways.  He is rational while I often can't gain perspective.  When I am a total emotional mess for the suffering in so many places, he gently points out the limitations of my influence.  I can't do much to stop the tragedies in the world.  Sleepless nights don't help anyone.  I do pray really hard and we contribute generously to our fast offerings.
Alma, a Book of Mormon prophet, invites all of us to "Mourn with those that mourn", as part of our baptismal covenant but I really don't help much in these very large events.

Somehow, we, individually,must find peace.  The above quote  from Ugo Betti was included in the remarks of a young father at the funeral of his 4 year old son.  Lindsey attended the service in Arkansas and sent her impressions.  Both parents bore testimony of the truth of the Lord's eternal plan and "somehow, pain and faith are learning to live peacefully side by side in my heart.  I have been richly blessed before and I know I will continue to be blessed."  (the Mom).

That is what I want.  How to get there?
In April, 2013, Elder Quentin Cook, an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ talked about how to find deep, abiding happiness and spiritual contentment.  This is from his April 2013 conference talk:

President Heber J. Grant described the Savior’s peace this way: “His peace will ease our suffering, bind up our broken hearts, blot out our hates, engender in our breasts a love of fellow men that will suffuse our souls with calm and happiness.”¹⁷ 

The Savior is the source of true peace. Even with the trials of life, because of the Savior’s Atonement and His grace, righteous living will be rewarded with personal peace. In the intimate setting of the Passover chamber, the Savior promised His Apostles that they would be blessed with the “Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost” and then uttered these important words: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.”³⁰ Then just before His Intercessory Prayer: “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”³¹

Eliza R. Snow penned this concept beautifully:

"Lift up your hearts in praise to God;

Let your rejoicings never cease.

Though tribulations rage abroad,

Christ says, “In me ye shall have peace."

I echo the message:  I have been so richly blessed and I will continue to be blessed.

All the rules are fair.

Sometimes things seem like this upside down house we saw in a Moscow park but, just like this is an anomaly, reality shows me that the world is a wonderful place to be and , in the Lord's time, everything will be "right-side-up."

Road Tripping through Ukraine...

We are blessed to have five Senior Missionary Couples serving in Ukraine.  Each couple is extraordinary but very different from each other.

This past week we had the privilege of traveling throughout the western part of this breathtakingly beautiful country to visit and serve some of them.  Each couple serves in large cities all over Ukraine.
We visited classes, met and fell in love with both teachers and students.  Our hearts are full.  There is love and wonderful teaching happening everywhere!

A few of these couples we have visited before and we enjoyed sharing the exciting things they are seeing in their area.  Others are pretty new and we spent time training them.  In every case, our hearts were touched as the hand of the Lord is evident in this great land.


Our driver, interpreter and all around fun traveling companion, was the CES coordinator of Western Ukraine, Igor.   He and his lovely wife, Sveta, have a bunch of great children.  They are a faithful and happy family.  Igor is bishop of a friendly, bustling ward in Keiv.

Igor is at the head of the table.  On the right, one of our great couples.

Ukraine has known so much suffering these past several months.  It was in contrast to that terrible pain that we felt the peace and sustaining influence of the Keiv Temple.  It is the center of everything for the good saints of East Europe.  We attended an early morning mid-week session and it was packed with faithful saints.  We were one of the very few with headsets.  It was wonderful to feel the same spirit we feel in any temple.  I testify to the presence of angels.  We received answers to prayers and an increase of faith.  Temples are truly Houses of the Lord.

After our temple session, the plan was to  hit the road with Igor.  As we got in the car he received a call from Sveta.     We circled back to his home so that he could give a Priesthood blessing to his 14 year old son, Sasha, who had injured his hand while picking apricots from the tree in their yard.  We witnessed the peace and healing that comes through Priesthood power.  What a great church!  In the middle of Keiv, Ukraine, all of the keys are present for God's power bless His saints.

The previous evening, Igor and Sveta showed us around Keiv.  The tragedy of Maidan, Independence Square, is still fresh.  It is heartbreaking to see the throw-everything-in-there, kitchen sink included, barricades and the photos of the 400- plus civilians who were killed.

What has arisen in western Ukraine is a patriotism and love of country that is seen everywhere.  Yellow and blue flags flutter from most homes and businesses.  In our travels, we passed several bridges where young people with paint cans were happily changing the dull brown color of the railings to yellow and blue.  Cars with flags flying or even some spray painted were very common.

The Ukrainian language is predominant in the western area.  Keiv is about half and half Russian and Ukrainian speaking.  In church on Sunday, the hymns, scriptures and lessons were taught in Ukrainian but many comments were in Russian and everyone (but us) understood.  Many of the men and women proudly wear traditional Ukrainian clothing.

Everyone prays daily for peace to come.  Members of the church put aside partisanship and just love each other.  Testimonies are shared and all are strengthened.  The Lord's work continues to move forward.

In our travels we saw charming villages, ancient castles, waving wheat fields and more corn than Kansas but, as always, it's the people we love.  One humble family is just a short way from the Polish border.  Each of their three sons have been home taught in Seminary by their parents.  The two older sons served missions, married and have moved away.  The youngest son  received his 3 year certificate from Igor, who made the long, rocky trip to their home.

This family has great faith and joy in the gospel.  They travel by bus 2 1/2 hours to church each Sunday.  On Wednesdays, the Dad and Son ride their bikes to catch the small bus to return to the church to clean it.  They have done it for years.  Such kind, happy, shining people. Everyone who enters their home comments on the temple-like spirit that is present.  In this tiny corner of the world, they have embraced Zion.  We are humbled.  We love all of these good people,

Our hearts have grown as well as our faith!  Missions are amazing!

The Perfect Wedding.....

For Mormons, nothing is more important than the  creation of  eternal families.  We believe that, if we remain faithful to covenants made in our temples, we will have the blessing of being with those we love forever.

Friday we were privileged to witness the wedding of two wonderful people.  We have known Oksana since we first arrived in Moscow last year.  She has chosen to remain morally clean and temple worthy as many years have passed since she served as a missionary on Temple Square in Salt Lake City.

A year ago she mentioned to us that she had been re-reading her Patriarchal Blessing.  She said that a particular phrase  jumped out at her.  Her blessing promised her that she would find her companion in a sacred setting.  She thought she had paid attention to the meaning.  She always sought out new people at church, attended Young Adult and now Single Adult Conferences but didn't find her special companion.   In her church callings, she is faithful and has given so much service.


                                              .

As she looked again at the promise given in her blessing, the spirit spoke to her and told her that the key was the temple.  She had been attending the temple in Keiv as often as her schedule allowed but with this new insight, she decided to take her yearly vacation and spend every day in the temple.  A few days into her temple service, she noticed a handsome man in her session.

She knew he was special.   He radiates goodness, as does Oksana.  His name is Vadim.  He is Ukrainian and has served a faithful mission in Russia.  It didn't take long for them to fall in love and prepare for their temple marriage.

Russian law requires that all marriages must take place in the office of a government registrar.  That done, the beautiful day was perfect for picture taking.  Then the fun really began.  Elder and Sister Blackwell hosted a lovely party in their beautiful apartment.

 We had never witnessed how Eastern Europeans celebrate marriages.  Nothing stuffy or formal, as ours tend to be in America.  This was just lots of fun!

As the bride and groom enter, they are presented with a loaf of bread placed on an embroidered towel.  A salt holder is placed on top of the bread.  It signifies the wish of plenteous blessings in the new household.

 We enjoyed  lots of games involving balloons, story telling,wishes for the couple and dancing.
And of course, SINGING!  Every time Russians get the chance, songs of the Motherland and family are sung with gusto!  Copies of the music (which we can't read) were passed out but everyone knew the choruses and belted them out!  We love these powerful Russian voices!

Lots of traditional food and a beautiful cake!



Saturday was when the real marriage took place.  Oksana and Vadim returned to the Keiv Temple where their story began.  Sacred covenants were made and another eternal family has begun.  We are blessed to have witnessed the faith and love of this dear couple.  They are so happy and grateful for the divine plan of a loving Heavenly Father who guided them to each other in His sacred house.